There are a couple of things in life that truly give me great joy: sitting on the couch all Sunday and watching football, getting outside and playing pick-up basketball, hanging out with my buddies on a free night, and eating a warm, cozy piece of za. Pizza is as good as it gets. The variety of toppings and different styles makes it fresh, versatile, and new with every bite. Everything great about pizza is ruined when pineapple is added to the equation.

I may not love every pizza topping, but I can respect most personal preferences, except for pineapple. The best pizza has a delicate feel, with the right blend of cheese and sauce while having a nice crisp crunch that can be felt through the crust. A lot of toppings do well to accentuate the beautiful flavors in pizza. My personal favorite, cured meats will add a hint of spice and additional flavor. Some prefer vegetables to create a unique texture and possibly be more healthy. But adding pineapple is downright disgusting. The juiciness contrasts and overtakes the wonderful flavor that already exists in the pie. The texture just doesn’t line up with pizza. Any fruit was not meant to be put on pizza, and pineapple is the best example of that.

It’s not even that I think pineapple is a bad fruit. By itself, pineapple is quite good and a great side to any meal. But when you add a decent fruit to the extravagance that is pizza it is a disgrace.

Some may say that I am a pizza traditionalist and my response would be yes. I am a pizza traditionalist because traditional pizza is as good as it gets. My overall point is this, pizza is awesome and probably the greatest food of all time. Its ability to be different based on what you want on it, and where you go to get it makes it very versatile. Pineapple is a good fruit but because of its odd texture, sweetness, and juiciness it does not belong on pizza and the continuous conversation around the topic should end.